10. The Car Excuse
"My car wouldn't start this morning. If you paid me better, I wouldn't have to drive such a crappy hunk of metal. This is all your fault! YOUR FAULT!!"

(They will likely scurry away before you finish this one, either out of guilt or fear.)

9. The Dental Excuse
"Sowee I'm wate. I had ta go to da dentisst fow an emewgency appointment."

(Remember to stuff your mouth full of gauze.)

8. The Fall Back Excuse
"I set my clock back an hour last night for Daylight Savings. Was that not today?"

(Point at your watch early and often.)

7. The Extended Party Excuse
(This works best while sitting in a co-workers cubical.)

"Actually, I'm still a little drunk, so you're lucky I even remembered how to drive here this morning. Wait...this isn't my desk."

6. The Sick Children Excuse
"Both kids woke up violently ill this morning, so I've been cleaning up vomit and other bodily fluids. Need I go on?"

5. The Storm Excuse
"The power must have gone out at some point last night during the storm. I woke up this morning and the alarm clock was blinking 12:00."

4. The "how far are you willing to go to find out" Excuse
"I'd really rather not talk about it if that's ok. It was a personal issue."

(They will seldom push this line of questioning any further.)

3. The Short-Timer Excuse
"I just found a new job and need to give you my 2-week notice, so I'm not really worried about what you think. I'll be taking a long lunch and leaving early as well. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some web surfing to do."

(Inappropriate office attire is a must for this one to work. It's also a good idea for this to be true, or you will likely be fired anyway.)

2. The Tom Ridge Excuse
"These guys from Homeland Security showed up at my door last night and spent the next 18 hours interrogating me about some guy they claim I know named Brad. Something about web sites of mass destruction. And apples."

1. The Bugs Bunny Excuse
"I musta took a wrong turn in Albuquerque."

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