10. Learn to Love Meetings
You will spend more of your working career sitting in rooms talking about what you should be doing instead of actually doing it. Get a comfy chair.

9. Fit in or Pack up
In the corporate world, you can be the best at what you do, work overtime every week and make the company look good at every turn...but if you wear jeans, have long hair, or in any other way make the stiffs that sit on the board of directors feel old or uncomfortable, you'll be the first to go when the hammer falls.

8. Damned if you do...
You will find yourself in situations where someone with no design skill will be in charge of design. You can either fight the system or get over it. If you fight it, be prepared to either quit or get over it.

7. Learn Your Acronyms
You don't have to understand what you're saying to succeed. If you can fill your vocabulary with impressive buzzwords, you'll go far. However, if you actually understand the concepts behind all of these terms, but you don't like public speaking, you are doomed to work in a dark corner.

6. Your Company Will Make Money Off of You
I wish someone had said to me, "One day you will look up and realize that your company is charging $270/hour for your time. You will be making the equivalent of $12/hour."

5. Quake is Fun
If you incorporate fun into your work, you will be happier and more productive. You will also be fired.

4. Too Little, Too Late
Your boss will always appreciate what you do much more after you're gone. However, you've probably told him to go certain places by that point, which will make it impossible for him to try and get you back.

3. Learn to Play the Game
Playing politics is the single most important aspect of any job at a large company. The smaller the company, the more important the work becomes.

2. Check the "Four Year Degree" Box
In most cases, what your college degree is in only matters for your first job out of school. After that, all that really matters is that you have a college degree.

1. Respect Yourself (at a Reduced Salary)
Standing your ground will always bring you more respect than what is given to someone who kisses ass. However, the ass kisser will always be paid better and promoted before you.